Artist’s Journal: NUMBER 26

“If you don’t do anything,

you won’t have any critics.

If you don’t do enough,

you won’t have any admirers.

Do or don’t, your soul will pay

one way or another.”

– I thought of this today!

Getting ready for my next show at Colo Colo Gallery in New Bedford, Massachusetts.  It’s coming up in January.  Lot’s of things go through my head when I’m psyching myself up for a show.  But, most of the important things appear when I’m doing the de rigueur stuff – posters, ads and writing the show statement.

This new show is called FADO – FATUM and it’s both inspired by and, dedicated to my mother.  The exhibit’s theme isn’t so much about Fado, the traditional Portuguese music of the people.  It’s more about the life it represents.

Emilia Moraes, Fadista
Emilia Moraes, Fadista

My mother was a fadista; a singer of Fado.  She was known on the old Portuguese-American club circuit, which stretched from Ludlow and Chicopee Massachusetts to Newark, New Jersey, as “Little Amália” because of her similarity in style and sound to the paragon of Fado – Amália Rodrigues.

One of my favorite songs in her repertoire, written by Amália, was Que Deus Me Perdoe – May God Forgive Me.  Here are the words translated by Amália…

If only my hidden soul
Could reveal itself
And what I suffer in silence
Could be divulged
Everyone would see
Just what a wretch am I
How I feign happiness
How I cry as I sing

May God forgive me
If it is a crime or sin
But I am this way
And by running away from the Fado
I would run from myself.

The circumstances of children and family necessitated her running from herself.  I never realized the true meaning of her decision, or the pain it had inflicted on her until I finally returned to painting because – I could no longer run away from myself.  Perhaps this next show and the work being exhibited will encourage my hidden soul to reveal itself.



Posted on: 16/12/2012, by :
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