Artist’s Journal: NUMBER 16

“Conflict is the beginning of consciousness”

Mary Esther Harding 1888 – 1971


DRAWING 3B – 2012
MEDIUM: Charcoal, pastel and graphite on paper
SIZE: 9″ x 12″

Working on a theme for my upcoming show in January (no it isn’t that far away) at the Colo-Colo Gallery and I think I’ve got it!  My mother’s 86th birthday is next week.  She was a fadista when I was growing up – trying to launch her career with a little kid to care for.  Being separated from my father didn’t make it any easier.  She had some success but ultimately had to give it up.

One of the classic fados in her repertoire was Que Deus Me Perdoe (May God Forgive Me).  I’ve linked to Mariza’s version, but the classic is Amalia Rodrigues.

The song doesn’t completely translate that well into English but, one verse says it all:

May God forgive me

If it’s a crime or sin

But I am this way and,

Running away from fado

I’d be running from myself

I cry singing

Yet, nothing hurts me

Then, if it’s a sin

To love fado

May God forgive me

I have spent thirty or so years in marketing and advertising pining for the opportunity to return to my original career goal – paint and teach.

If fado is fate and it’s a sin to love art, then may God forgive me.  Let this show be my plea for absolution.

It may sound over dramatic or corny to some but, as the lady said above – conflict is the beginning of consciousness.  And, if consciousness is proof of our existence, I’m glad to be awake!

At this point in time, the show’s title will be: Fado – Eu Sou Assim (Fate – As I Am)






Posted on: 20/09/2012, by :
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